hey everyone. or no one. :) my new place is at http://www.myspace.com/jefe888

come see me.

test

testing

mornin...

i am such a morning person... grumble grumble...

today is the day! and i'm full of grace and peace. i am very excited about the day, and looking forward very happily to what comes in the next few days, weeks, and months. i'm especially excited about the 30 day silent retreat.

i've been following along some of your blogs, my friends. i was hoping to see a new entry in some of yours today, but i've only seen one entry in some of them. i hope you have time to blog a little more before i go. i may not be able to post or read yours much after today for quite some time.

my prayers and love are with all of you. i hope to see you soon. the bittersweetness of loving friends and being apart from them is one that i think we find grounded in the heart of our Lord - how much He loves us, and how sad i think when sin (ours or others') keeps us apart from Him.

see you soon!

dinner!

i just finished a wonderful dinner with my family and two good friends (both jesuits). the food was good (it was a seafood place in new orleans), but the discussion was better. one of the gentlemen with whom we dined had spent 20 years in japan teaching english and theology. it was fascinating hearing the things that he learned and saw and did while working in that country.

i found myself thinking that i'm even more completely undecided on the issue of the priesthood. the dinner tonight was incredibly interesting... and it seems the first of many many such discussions about things regarding helping people to know Him better.

on the OTHER hand... letting go of the idea of marriage and kids is difficult - and doesn't seem altogether appropriate for what i'm sensing in my calling.

i have no idea how to reconcile these two disparaging views... they seem completely contrary to one another. but this mystery seems grounded in Him - and so i continue to plunge into their depths, and hope that they begin to turn up something that makes sense in THIS reality and space and time..

i miss my friends from college station desperately. i think of them daily, imagine them in every conversation and encounter, think about the places where i am and how much i wish they could join me there.

what do i do with all of this?

our lady of prompt succor

so we (my parents, bro and i) went to mass this morning at our lady of prompt succor. succor means 'help' or 'tender care', and is in english, pronounced 'sucker'. this led, of course, to amusing and largely appropriate comments by my family as we left mass. they behaved pretty well during mass itself, which was good. :) one of the best comments i heard on the subject (modesty prevents me from naming who vocalized this one) was that the church was named 'our lady of prompt suckers' cuz no one was every late to their masses... ;)

after mass we had lunch with some delightful people, including father kitten and aaron pidel. it was great discussing things over a tasty meal of barbecue ribs and beans (i happen to like beans). stories of pre-entrance jitters and lost loves who weren't so lost after all formed a large part of the discussion.

we are about to go exploring in new orleans, and my goal before the day is over is to experience the flavor known to these parts as 'mint julep'. i don't know what i'm in for, so it should be quite an experience. i've often found that the best experiences are those we expect the least.

may the grace of God, the love of Christ, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you as you read this.

neworrrleanns

that's my attempt to spell the 'correct' pronunciation of new orleans. all one word, drawled and a very long 'a'. :)

my parents, brother, and i are staying at a dominican retreat center here in new orleans. it's rather nice, i think. seems like the perfect place to take a retreat.

i read rahner on the plane all the way up here. the more i read him, the more i seem to find a kindred mind. this isn't always so with great thinkers and writers - for instance, when i read people like John Paul II (the pope before this one), Frederick Buechner, or even my buddy CS 'Jack' Lewis, i don't feel that connection. i read them and i learn and grow and admire. but their thinking seems to be coming from someone else's head - incredibly insightful and intelligent and well written - but not my thoughts. not the way i would have said it. not the insights that i've had.

however, when i read rahner, i don't feel like i'm reading someone else's thinking. i feel like i'm reading something i've thought, but haven't explored or developed to that extent yet.

but i've got to admit that there is alot of his work i still haven't begun to read. perhaps i'll find another person behind his writings after all. :)

i just heard that i may have to curtail my blogging while i'm in the novitiate. we'll see. if so, i'll still plan to blog when on my breaks.

thanks to those of you who have begun blogs of their own! i'm very glad to see your posts, and esp your lists of fav things! many of them are favs of mine, as well.

here are a few more of my favs:

*question games! i love question games, no matter how they're played. whether it be a series of questions in an email, or questions asked back and forth between 'live' people, with answers expected and unexpected, or the 'official' question game from 'rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead'. (a play by tom stoppard)

*cmonnn

*the 'categories' game

*tennis

*the pool at campus lodge apts

leaving!

ok i'm leaving the airport i denver now! i just went to a friend's site, and saw where they were working on it! its so cool to see other people's work in progress!

well, i'll try to get on in new orleans. we'll see!

i'll share new thoughts from rahner when i get on next.

see you soon!

few fav things

i thought i'd list for your amusement a few of my fav things:

*smiles that start on my face, and sink down into my heart, so that they stay there for hrs after the reason for them is gone...

*the delightful challenge of coming up new fav things without replicating

* brilliant friends!!

*obstacles tha make overcoming them full of scintillating beauty

*lucas-sitting

*the opera, shakespeare in the park, outdoor symphony

*when reality is more exciting than imagination

*the last thing a great friend says to you before you leave

*years that seem forever! and pass by in the blink of an eye

*the breathtaking adventure of not knowing what's coming but trusting God and friends i delighted joy

*realizing His presence in the love between me and friends

later same day

hey folks! so i'm at an airport now in denver! on my way to new orleans! i jumped online here (jump a little higher!) to check out some websites, and to mention how much i like lists of favs. they're always so creative!

i'm reading karl rahner on the plane. for those who don't know, but care, he's a jesuit theologian who contributed to vatican ii. he's VERY interesting, and about the most liberal thinker i've read yet with whom i agree completely.

friends, romans countrymen! keep making your fav lists and updating your websites! i'm enjoying them. also don't hesitate to make a blog here, and if you do, link it to your site so i can read it!

much love you all of you reading - hope to see you soon. what do i mean by soon? ask aslan.

out!

august 12, 2005

BTW!!! be sure to refresh this page when you come here, or you might miss out on the new posts i add from time to time. :)

today i'm leaving to fly to new orleans! i'm entering the jesuits order of the catholic church in two days. it's very exciting, very sad (leaving my friends and fam behind), and very scary all at once! fortunately my trust in God and my friends makes it easier.

i went to the getty yesterday and looked at a collection of rembrandt's works on the disciples. it was really interesting to see his works 'in person', and also to read about the traditions behind all of the disciples, esp the way they died, and the symbol of their martyrdoms which they hold in the pictures.

i look fwd to many more posts here. i hope you all enjoy reading them. mostly, it's just my diary, and so i don't expect it to be terribly fascinating for most of you. but feel free to check in whenever you want.

i went to the church (one of the oldest in L.A.) across the street from Olvera yesterday. i was very happy to find out that i was 20 min early for mass - so i stayed for it. i could follow most of it, because even though it was entirely in Spanish, the priest was a gringo :) and so he spoke very slowly and deliberately with a caucasian accent, and so i was able to make out most of what he said, even the jokes.

the feast was on something about Jesus's coming into the world to save us, and it made me wonder something. this is kinda ... philosophical, so if you don't get into that, maybe skip this bit. :) but i wondered that... since Jesus is eternal, and since we actually participate in His passion when we experience the sacrifice of the Eucharist (when we go to mass, we are really THERE with Jesus when He died for us), it got me to wondering if the entire life of Christ is not eternally present to us, as well. in other words, we think of Jesus as being an adult "now", in heaven with the Father. but is He not also a babe in the manger for all eternity? is He not also proclaiming the kingdom of God among us forever? is He not also healing us and teaching us and bringing us closer to Himself and the Father for all time?

we all experience the sensation of 'being there' when we remember something vividly. like we're back in time. i suppose that God has perfect memory, and i wonder if this means that His memory IS HISTORY, and eternally present to Him (and possibly to us, one day) and that at any time we can worship Christ as a teen, or at the wedding in Caana, or resurrected, or asking His impossible questions in the Temple as a child. i wonder....