dinner!

i just finished a wonderful dinner with my family and two good friends (both jesuits). the food was good (it was a seafood place in new orleans), but the discussion was better. one of the gentlemen with whom we dined had spent 20 years in japan teaching english and theology. it was fascinating hearing the things that he learned and saw and did while working in that country.

i found myself thinking that i'm even more completely undecided on the issue of the priesthood. the dinner tonight was incredibly interesting... and it seems the first of many many such discussions about things regarding helping people to know Him better.

on the OTHER hand... letting go of the idea of marriage and kids is difficult - and doesn't seem altogether appropriate for what i'm sensing in my calling.

i have no idea how to reconcile these two disparaging views... they seem completely contrary to one another. but this mystery seems grounded in Him - and so i continue to plunge into their depths, and hope that they begin to turn up something that makes sense in THIS reality and space and time..

i miss my friends from college station desperately. i think of them daily, imagine them in every conversation and encounter, think about the places where i am and how much i wish they could join me there.

what do i do with all of this?